Nadia Ansar was named after the Romanian gymnast Nadia Comăneci. She was the symbol of the “perfect 10”; unattainable, flawless, and perfect. On the outside she was the immaculate daughter, the good immigrant and the well-integrated psychologist, an expert in feelings such as shame and guilt. What no one could see was that she carried with her a heavy rucksack of shame and dark secrets.

Through the book My Shame she now wishes to use her own personal and professional voice to tell the story about the talented minority girl’s fight to be able to be herself. About growing up in Oslo as the daughter of the local grocer and the only girl in her school class with a minority background. About her dad’s breakneck split between the equal Norwegian society and the patriarchal expectations of their culture. About the fight for equality in her marriage, after marrying the love of her life.

As an adult Nadia Ansar has often witnessed several well-educated sisters of minority backgrounds give up on the painful balancing act in the supposedly equal Norway. They become housewives with hijabs, and some move back to their parents’ home country. Nadia Ansar believes it is the feelings of shame which primarily prohibits them from leading free lives.